if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
