Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she told me i tasted like america
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
