then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
