I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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