The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel great
I just peed on a car
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
