good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
