1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Semen is not good for contacts.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
