I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
