my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
