Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
