Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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