my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
