So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
