there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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