So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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