I'm really into asian looking animals
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
