AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
