I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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