Cold hands, warm shart.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
