I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
