girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
