Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
