fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
