party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
ttyl tear gas
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
