i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she pinky promised me she was 18
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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