We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dignity is for republicans.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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