And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
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