dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
