thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
