EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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