so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
