I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
