Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
