South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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