Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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