just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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