The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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