Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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