I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
