my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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