I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
