I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
