:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
