Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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