She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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