bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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