return my video game
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
