i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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