i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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