and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
