Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
